Saturday, July 15, 2006

Mispellign Knot Ownly Weigh Two RIte Bad

harvey krishna
Originally uploaded by gofriend8.
There are more ways to write badly than misspelling. I mean besides long, repetitious, disorganized disasters that purport to be argumentation and mistake quantity for quality, as seen on too many websites. Here is some All Star bad writing:

Bizarre metaphors and similes

"3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it...

9. The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't...

18. Even in his last years, Granddad had a mind like a steel trap, only one that had been left out so long, it had rusted shut...

25. He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up."

If you feel that you can write on that level, and want to get serious about bad writing, you can always take the next step and submit here next year:

It was a long and twisting sentence...

"An opening sentence containing a burrito, an angel and a shovel was judged appalling enough to win the annual Bulwer-Lytton literary parody prize on Tuesday. Retired mechanical designer Jim Guigli of California was proclaimed winner of the contest, which challenges entrants to submit their worst opening sentence of an imaginary novel...

The 2006 runner-up, Stuart Vasepuru from Scotland, played with one of the most famous pieces of dialogue from the Clint Eastwood movie "Dirty Harry".

"I know what you're thinking, punk," hissed Wordy Harry to his new editor, "you're thinking, 'Did he use six superfluous adjectives or only five?' -- and to tell the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement; but being as this is English, the most powerful language in the world, whose subtle nuances will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel loquacious?' -- well do you, punk?” "


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