Thursday, April 06, 2006

Back From La La Land

To catch up on my adyatmika, sufferings caused by my own body, I have to mention that I went to Morgantown Tuesday to have an upper endoscopy. They stick a camera down your throat on the end of a cable and go see what they can see. They look for irregularities in your esophagus, stomach and duodendem. I can’t tell you if the procedure is unpleasant because they gave me some weird sedative that keeps you awake and able to respond to commands to swallow or whatever when they do it, but you only remember waking up later after it is over.

My wife drove me as I no longer have the strength to rely on myself to make the 3 hour round trip, plus do something while I am there. Maybe I could, but maybe I couldn’t. In this case, it wasn’t an issue because it is required that you have someone else as the after effects of the sedative make it dangerous to drive. After the procedure, they take you back to the prep area and you wait for an hour or two until you are coherent again and able to stand without assistance.

According to my wife, I would doze off and on, but when awake I was babbling on about whatever. She recounted what I had been saying, and I could remember pieces but not everything. Like at one point the nurse asked me if I wanted to drink something, and I remember thinking what could I ask for that they would be certain not to have so I requested some guava juice. They brought me apple juice instead and I drank it but I don’t remember doing that. My wife was having some fun rehashing what I had said and did while recovering, after we got home and were talking about it.

I had apologized in advance to the nurses before the procedure when they were preparing me, inserting the IV and all that. I warned them that sometimes I make dry jokes and get in trouble because people take me literally. So they were understanding. Apparently the weirdest thing I did was when they asked me if I could stand by myself. I got up and did my little act. Which consists of getting into the horse stance (feet parallel pointing forward, shoulder width apart, with slightly bent knees), striking myself in the shoulder with my knee while remaining erect, then slowly extending my leg and deliberately placing my foot on the ground. If conscious, I can do this quite smoothly, but it seems I wasn’t satisfied with my performance and insisted on doing it again. I remember none of that.

It did remind me that I really don’t like being intoxicated. The “No intoxication” regulation is one I follow not out of duty but out of desire. I dislike that feeling of being out of control, of being less than fully conscious of what is going on around me.


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