Ten Offenses to Pizza

(This has been floating around the internet for years, but with the recent discussion of pizza (metaphorically) at the GBC meeting, I thought I'd put it up for those who are interested in pizza literally and may not have heard it yet.)

The Glories of Pizza Prasadam

by Lasagne dasa Vanapasta

"Offering gifts in charity, accepting charitable gifts, revealing one’s mind in confidence, inquiring confidentially, accepting prasada and offering prasada are the six symptoms of love shared by one devotee and another."

Upadesamrita Verse 4

Here are some guidelines for the cooking and honoring of pizza feasts. The ten offenses to be avoided against Pizza Prasadam.

1. To compromise with ingredients because of health or financial considerations, i.e. any olive oils other than extra virgin, other
cheeses then mozzarella or paneer, cheap olives.

2. To commit rasa bhasa or other deviations, like mixing Italian with Indian or other styles; stick to the classical recipes (from la mamma, la nonna, Kurma is ok too).

3. To serve thick crusts, subji toppings, cold or reheated Pizzas.

4. To cook and offer the Pizza to Krishna without AMORE, knowing well that He is the true enjoyer of everything.

5. To preach the glories of Pizza prasadam to the faithless.

6. To have been invited to a Pizza feast and to have eaten before it, thus not being sufficiently hungry to properly honor the
Pizza.

7. To habitually cook Pizza for yourself without wanting to relish the mellows with others, thus not taking advantage of the superexcellent opportunity to uniquely enhance loving exchanges amongst devotees.

8. To stash Pizza for yourself while serving it, or to hope that those you are serving will not eat too much, so that you can enjoy more afterwards.

9. To fail to cook Pizza prasadam for the devotees on occasions when; it is obviously appropriate and auspicious to do so.

10. To serve Pizza without a good salad, some pasta or soup, or without a drink (i.e. lemon or pure grape juice) and sweet.

One who avoids the above offenses will be able to relish ever increasing varieties and quantities of Pizza throughout his life, in spite of the otherwise limiting factors of old age, disease, and high cholesterol.