Why "No Alcohol" at Our New Year's Eve Party

Besides the liver damage and consideration of the 4 regulative principles (which applies to other intoxicants also), here are a few more reasons to avoid alcohol consumption:

consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with breath that could knock a buzzard off a manure spreader at 100 yards.

consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an a**hole.

consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office party.

consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-girlfriends are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell ever happened to your pants anyway.

consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember)

consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho.

Seriously though, binge drinking may cause Alcohol Poisoning, which can be fatal or cause brain damage.